The Crappiest XS Story Ever!
by jamesoor
Summary: Alternate universes collide with the XS universe! XSU AU, as they collide. RaiKim, AlternateRaiKim and some other stuff I can't really remember. Either way, it's all humour...I hope. Please RnR
1. The Beggining

Me: Ok…this is just going to be a weird one-shot fiction about a weird not-so-parallel universe…

Chase: Wait a minute…why do I have to be a…

Me: DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!

Alternate Chase: *Starts to do his job*

Good Jack: Oh GOODY! CHARADES!

Me: He wants to do something more crappy…

Alternate Raimundo: This is gonna be kinda weird…

Me: Shut up, or else I throw you and your double into a closet with Kimiko and Alternate Kimiko and lock the 4 of you in.

Alternate Raimundo: So, we'll just break out.

Me: Oh, and did I mention that it would be on some inescapable desert island…with the only clothes for a 100 miles around being rather tight and revealing underwear? And that all your ordinary clothes would be gone?

Alternate Raimundo and Raimundo: *stares at Alternate Kimiko and Kimiko respectively and blush* Nice blackmail. FOLKS, Don't READ…I rep-

Raimundo: *hand over Alternate Raimundo's mouth*shhhhh…

Me: Too late.

*Raimundo, Alternate Raimundo, Kimiko and Alternate Kimiko disappear*

Me: Hmmm…Let me go find my crystal ball…

Everyone who is not…doing what Alternate Chase is doing, banging his or her head on the wall after watching what their alternate self is doing, locked up in some closet on some inescapable desert island, finding his or her crystal ball or being annoyingly good: Please read on!

* * *

One crappy (A/N: don't be insulted, it's just the fic) day in the crappy XS universe, there was a crappy temple where crappy monks learnt the crappy art of how to crap…wait…wrong art! That's the Institute of Constipated Monks! I meant the crappy art of how to do crap Xiaolin. There were 4 crappy dragons-in-training, 1 crappy cheese ball that tasted nothing like cheese, 1 cowboy, 1 surfer and 1 rich girl. There was also one crappy snake-lizard-gecko-dragon thing with 2 hands and no legs. And on that day, something happened. Right there. "My Dojo senses are tingling!" This thing, whose name was Dojo, cried. "Dojo…those are not crappy 'Dojo' senses," the rich girl, whose name was Kimiko cried, they're Shen Gong Wu senses!" Suddenly, a massive crappy inter-dimensional hole opened. "See, they were not crappy Shen Gong Wu senses, they were Dojo senses!" Dojo replied. They were then sucked up into this vortex…

At the same crappy time, there was a crappy SX universe, which was the alternate, not-so-parallel universe to the XS universe, there was a crappy temple where crappy monks learnt the crappy art of crappy Xiaolin. There were 4 crappy dragons-in-training, 1 crappy cheese ball that tasted nothing like cheese, 1 bullboy, 1 surfer and 1 rich girl. There was also one crappy snake-lizard-gecko-dragon thing with 2 legs and no hands. And on that day, something happened. Right there. "My Jodo senses are tingling!" This thing, whose name was Jodo, cried. "Jodo…those are not crappy 'Jodo' senses," the rich girl, whose name was Kimiko cried, they're Wu Shen Gong senses!" Suddenly, a massive crappy inter-dimensional hole opened. "See, they were not crappy Wu Shen Gong senses, they were Jodo senses!" Jodo replied. They were then sucked up into this vortex…

* * *

Me: So it's not a one-shot. You can't sue me.

Alternate Chase: *does his thing*

Me: Yes, I did find my ball. And it wasn't crystal, it was diamond!

Chase: *in between banging head on wall* So OW why OW did OW you OW want OW it? OW!

Me: *gazing deep into the crappy depths of my ball* I'm spying on that inescapable desert island. They managed to break out of that big closet and are now on different parts of my crappy island. And they finally have clothes on again. And Raimundo is making out with Kimiko, and Alternate Raimundo is…well…you just need to now that he and Alternate Kimiko are getting really physical…

*Somewhere in the diamond ball comes really disgusting sounds*

Good Jack: Awwwwwwww....they look so happy

Jack: Cool, Alternate KImiko, who looks exactly loke Kimiko, is naked!

Raimundo Fan-Girl No.1067583 and Raimundo Fan-Girl No. 0810372: Nooooooooooooooo! *Faints*

Me: What just happened? And who were they?

Pandabubba: *appears out of thin air*Some Raimundo fan-girls are jealous of Kimiko, and since ALternate Raimundo looks exactly like Raimundo... as for who they areshe is, just look at the line above your most recent question.

Me: Oh. Oh well, ACTIVATE SECURITY CODE NO. 475937-Jealous unconcious fan-girl!

*Rabid Chained RaiKim Fan-Werepyres suddenly burst through some hole in the inter-dimensional portal from the story and start ripping Raimundo Fan-Girl No.1067583 apart, growling about how RaiKim and Alternate RaiKim are meant to be as Alternate Raimundo is the same as Raimundo, except that he defies authority more often and is more physical, and Kimiko and Alternate Kimiko are the same, except that Alternate Kimiko is more physical*

Everyone who is not throwing up, enjoying the free show, still banging his or her head, on an inescapable desert island, getting torn to shreds by rabid RaiKim Fan-Werepyres or unconscious: Please RnR, and if you send flames, I'll just fry bacon! So do remember to send some flames if you like it, and if you don't, just send it anyway!


	2. The 2nd Beggining

Me: OK, I would like to thank the 2 reviewers of my 1st chapter, and those charming flames that I shall now use to fry bacon and bake cookies. I know that there might be (0.00000001%) SOME chance that more people would review it. However, this is the only time that I could write it, so...

Alternate Master Fung: Yo, yo, why you acting so sensible, James dog?

Rabid RaiKim Fan-Werepyres: Did someone insult dogs?

Me: He did *points to Alternate Master Fung*

Alternate Master Fung: What I do, dog?

Rabid RaiKim Fan-Werepyres: We're part werewolf, and wolves are dogs!

*Sounds and shrieks of some gay rapper*

Jodo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Omi: So...where is my fearless Shoku Warrior and the one with lower-body-strength?

Me: I dunno.

Alternate Chase: *does his thing*

Me: Fine, they're somewhere on an inescapable desert island and they got a LOT more physical in their relationship. Oh, ya, they're also with Alternate Raimundo and Kimiko, who already went past that point some hours ago. You can go see them in my diamond ball over there *points to some diamond ball where Jack and Good Jack are watching and Raimundo Fan-Girl No. 0810372 is lying on the ground, unconcious and some Rabid RaiKim Fan-Werepyres are ripping Raimundo Fan-Girl No. 0810372 to shreds*

Omi: So that's what a girl has under her shirt!

Everyone who is not...doing what Alternate Chase is doing, banging his or her head on the wall after watching what their alternate self is doing, doing something really physical on some inescapable desert island, watching what some is doing on some inescapable desert island, unconcious, getting torn to shreds by Rabid RaiKim Fan-Werepyres, tearing people to shreds, mourning or baking cookies and frying bacon: On with the story!

* * *

Also, on that same crappy day, in that crappy XS universe, there was a crappy evil boy genius who was trying to figure how to make monks constipated. However, he kept on getting distracted by a crappy battle going on in his crappy evil (OVER-USAGE OF THE WORD "EVIL!")house. Crappy Hannibal bean, who was so crappingly annoying for his crappy size, and the crappy fact that he is a crappy bean, was battling with crappy Wuya, the crappy witch who lost her crappy powers, was battling with a crappy Chase and his crappingly girly hair. "Tell me how you grow your hair to be so girly!" the crappy witch without any crappy powers cried. "Tell me how to grow hair!" the crappy bean shouted. "Sheesh!" Chase said. "It's so simple. I use 'Sunsilk' to keep my hair silky, long and glossy!" he said in a girly voice. Suddenly, without any reason, they were also sucked up into that vortex, except for Mr. I-Won't-Make-You-Crap-I'll-Make-You-Fart bean. "YES!" he cried. "The secret is now mine!" He was then eaten by an ant.

Also, on that same crappy day, in that crappy SX universe, there was a less-crappy-than-usual good boy genius was trying to figure out how to help Alternate Master Monk Guan and Alternate Hannibal Bean grow hair like Alternate Chase. Alternate Chase than started dancing around the room, doing some weird hand gestures unknown to monkeys and me. Suddeny, a vortex opened and Chase fell out. "So that's why I have such girly hair and feel so gay when I talk about it...and why I use Sunsilk. I hate Sunsilk. It smells like a ghost Wuya..." Chase then realise that he was talking out loud...then everyone got sucked back into the vortex...

* * *

Me: I'm too lazy to write 3 paragraphs...or anything to random...so...GAH!

Chase: Ooooohhhh...I love cookies...but why are they squirrel-shaped...

Omi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alternate Omi: Squirrels? Die! *He karate chops all of my cookies*

Me: You...DIE! *I jump on him...just to be mobbed by Omi-Fangirls* Activate Securit-AW!-y Co.......de No. 0930198

Security System: Omi Fangirls mobbing Supreme Creator...Response: Fire Love-Potion into air so that they will fall in love with creator and not mob him...*fires gas into air and Omi-angirls calm down*

Me; Wait...what? No, I don't want to have a repeat of...*gets mobbed by the now jamesoor-Fangirls and sees an especially hot one* Hey, hottie, wanna follow me somewhere?

Hot jamesoor-Fangirl: Whatever you say *she and I disappear*

Diamond ball: STRIP!*Now 3 different disgusting sounds are heard*

Everyone who is still there: Please RnR!


	3. AN

I need to get reviews by 5 different people to continue my crappy story. Right now I only have 3.


	4. Another AN

Me: I decided I got impatient so I should just update...oh ya I was planning on updationg few days ago but something went wrong with the keyboard so I put up that notice.

Jodo: When did you decide anything???

Me: Either way here's a note: I will be updating this in May 2009 cos I wanna start a new story.


	5. The notsolovedoranticipated chapter

Me: Yeah, well guys, I, the crappiest guy on the planet is back... for how long I'm not sure. For the very few people who actually read this crappy fic of mine, I have decided to try and rewrite. And if you grew up and don't find this funny... well, I have no idea what to do. I'm probably gonna try and finish this story soon and all... HEY! Where's the interruption!

Alt-Omi: Well, we wanna try and finish this story quickly, so we let you get on with it.

Me: Hey, are Alt-Raimundo, Alt-Kimiko, Raimundo and Kimiko still on the desert island?

Alt-Chase: (dances)

Me: ... oh, so they already have kids... I was gone WAY longer than I thought...

Everyone still alive and with us cause half the cast retired: On with the story!

* * *

Now that every crappy person from the two universes was finally in one crappy place, the crappy clouds in the crappy sky suddenly disappeared crappily to reveal a VERY crappy ship that pointed a crappy-looking cannon and started firing crappy-winged-monkeys-from-heaven at the crappy people, killing everyone but our main cast.

Suddenly, Alt-Wuya turned around and said:"I quit!" Me:"You already quit, this is a stunt double with a much better-looking body." Wuya (in ghost form): "OW! Wait, why are the monkeys even hitting me? Why are you here? Why are there so many plot holes? Why am I cursed with a crappy author?" Chase said:"It's because we have a crappy author." Me:"That's it!" Suddenly, Chase's hair and Wuya's mask caught on fire. "Wait, why am I on fire, I'm a ghost! Crappy author!"

Suddenly, the crappy ghost busters appeared and started to blast crappy Wuya. Then, crappy Vikings crappily found crappy Chase just as he turned into crappy dragon form and decided to try and train him, leading to the not-so-crappy movie 'How to train your dragon'. Then, everyone but me died. However, as the crappy monkeys already destroyed crappy Hell, they went to Heaven, but were all blasted by crappy monkeys and fell back to the crappy earth to die crappily again and again and again.

**THE END?**

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**Well, now I don't know if I should continue. Here's the deal, you can review and tell me if I should finally end this crappy fic, or if I should continue the crap. Please R&R, you're not crap! I need reviews, reviews are love, love protects peeps from crap!


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